I was stuck at home and in need of company during that pesky Covid thing and decided to buy a dog for company.
I ended up with a Springer Spaniel because it looked cute with all that glistening, flowing coat and it was about the right size for a house dog - but it was a disaster for both of us.
He was out of control, bit visitors and destroyed the furniture, room by room.
I found an unsuspecting grave digger to give him to – he has probably buried it by now. Tell me how to find a smart, well-mannered dog like you.
Lewis,
Lurg.
Dear Lewis,
You’re a game man taking on a Springer – or any spaniel, for that matter.
Spaniels are bred to flush game, furred or feathered, from dense bush so they are typically short-legged, but quick and keen to sniff out their quarry.
They do look cute too, with their long wavy hair, feathered legs and tail, and large drooping ears. But those are not, on their own, good reasons to buy a dog.
You need to start by looking at what they were bred for. Spaniels were specialised by the 17th century into water and land breeds.
It so happens that we Chessies have a bit of Irish Water Spaniel in us, which gives me what the Missus calls “moofy feet” – paws that are absurdly large but also webbed, so I can swim like a duck.
So just a wee bit of spaniel is all you need, rather than a whole one.
A good spaniel can be cheerful and fun-loving, energetic and keen to chase up birds and fetch things.
A bad one, unfortunately, can be very bad: they can be possessive, unruly, destructive, hopelessly disobedient, hard to train and bitey. Some strains of Springers – Cockers are worse – have a behavioural affliction called “rage syndrome” – where they will attack and bite without provocation.
On the other hand, they can be charmingly eccentric. I’m reminded of that wonderful movie I saw with The Boss, Dean Spanley, about a vicar in Edwardian England (played by Sam Neill) with a fondness for Hungarian Tokay; he befriends a grumpy old chap who is bitter about the death of his oldest son in the Boer War.
The old curmudgeon is played by Peter O’Toole, his son by Jeremy Northam and a rascally local “conveyancer” is played by Bryan Brown – quite a cast.
Anyway, when the vicar overdoes his affection for Tokay, he starts twitching his nose and behaving strangely, claiming memories of his previous life - as a Welsh Spaniel. In this state he displays strong feelings around food, other dogs and shows an admirable distaste for cats and pigs.
It’s hilarious - the sort of movie that places spaniels in an altogether new light so I won’t go on and spoil it: you can rent it on YouTube and The Boss and I recommend it, Lewis. It will make you feel much better about having tried. Woof!
The General.
thebossesdog@gmail.com