Quite possibly Australia's greatest sporting film, 2002 classic Crackerjack tells the story of the Cityside Bowls Club's fight against an evil corporate empire, as well as young bowler Jack Simpson's reluctant embrace of the great game.
Many people's first contact with the sport, the Paul Moloney-directed film is a light-hearted comedy that explores the concept of the community sports club through this club's battle to stay afloat financially, while also showing Jack's appreciation of the game growing from something that only annoys him to a pastime he genuinely loves.
Along with school mate Robbie, Alex Mitchell sat down to watch one of our country's greatest and funniest movies.
Overall thoughts?
Alex: I was probably a little young when I first watched Crackerjack and was just blown away by the language — now I'm a genuinely foul-mouthed individual I find this one of the most quotable, rewatchable films out there.
Robbie: It's a good movie because it pokes fun, but in a very genuine way. It's definitely more laughing with than laughing at. Also it's good honestly, because it's funny and well acted, the delivery of the lines is great.
The general plot?
Alex: The Cityside Bowls Club is teetering on the edge of folding, and its committee refuses to green-light a pokies-riddled redevelopment plan by businessman Bernie Fowler. Instead, it seeks to garner the money to survive itself through various fundraising initiatives, the biggest of which being a high-profile, high-prizemoney knockout bowls tournament.
By this stage, Jack Simpson (Mick Molloy) has been forced to learn to bowl for the club or risk losing his membership — one of three he buys annually purely for the attached parking space, which he slings to co-workers for a tidy profit. Along Simpson's bowling journey he learns to love many of the club's colourful characters, loses his job and his girlfriend, has his car park business exposed yet eventually wins the hearts of the entire club, before helping the side clinch the prizemoney needed to stay financially afloat.
So at the end of the day, all this drama started with Jack flogging car parks. How much are they implying he makes off them, because he celebrated the announcement of the public transport strike like he'd jagged 100 per cent of a quaddie.
Robbie: My dad reckons he had a city car park at one stage, he was paying $250 a month around 2003. So if he's selling two car parks and keeping one himself, that would be $6000 a year. But parking is $8 an hour now, so $250 a month seems cheap. If he sold them for $100 per week, he's looking at a $10 000-plus earn for the year.
Acting/casting notes?
Alex: It's obviously a true-blue Australian cast, with Molloy, Bill Hunter, Samuel Johnson, Judith Lucy and John Clarke all local staples. Molloy has obviously shifted more towards television and radio in the last 10-15 years, but I really bought what he was selling here.
Robbie: Tony Martin too as the bowls ground announcer, the king of the Australian movie cameo. He’s in The Castle for 30 seconds too.
How realistic was the sporting action?
Alex: They probably nailed a few details when it came to the bowls, but missed a couple as well. ‘The Flipper’ — Jack's signature bowl that bends both ways — gets a pass because it's deliberately absurd, so the bowling holds up well with four players to a rink and the skip calling the shots at the other end.
They didn't show an awful lot of the bowls, but the action holds up well, with big money tournaments like the one Cityside eventually won certainly not unheard of.
Favourite scene?
Robbie: For me it's the bingo scene where Jack's dropkick housemate Dave is calling the numbers. It moves the story along well in terms of being the first fundraising effort, explains what the tournament they'll be entering in is and why they need to be in it. But at the same time it does what Crackerjack so often does — starts sort of sweet and unassuming ("two fat ladies as the bingo call for 88) and lulls us into a false sense of security, and then we get hit with "number 10, stab me in the eye with a ballpoint pen". Surely that's the worst he can do? No, no, "two fat whores" for 44. Combining exposition with humour, tough to do, and in a realistic way.
Alex: I think the initial meeting that lays out their financial woes is pretty incredible. You've got Jack inexplicably working the bar in a bow tie, fundraising ideas that include a nude calendar, and a party where everyone dresses up as their favourite decade, although "we had one of those and it was a disaster, everyone came as the 50s". Then the club nearly riots when someone has the unmitigated gall to suggest raising the price of beer. Then evil Bernie Fowler is there to once again spruik a pro-pokies future. This lot must have never hit the feature on More Chilli, as they are too strong, and not interested in installing pokies. Brilliant scene.
Best quote?
“Swear jar." — Club member Eileen whenever someone swears.
“These bowls are sh*thouse." — Jack after his maiden bowl bends the way he wasn't expecting it too.
“What for, your d*ck?" — Journalist Nancy Brown asks after Jack calls for a measure on his bowl.
“Jam your constitution fair up your clacker Len." — Jack after again being told he needed to do something to help the club.
“And hooroo to you too." — Jack on his first phone call being informed he'll have to play bowls.
“Gotta go Len, Zurich on the other line." — Jack coming up with an excuse to hang up on a phone call.
“All those in favour of calling our economic situation dire?" — Committee member Gwen at a club meeting.
“Seven-and-a-half grand? God, it would want to be a big bastard." — Jack's housemate Dave on the suggestion a meat tray raffle could solve the club's fundraising issues.
“Just like Stan, straight to the bar." — Jack after Stan's ashes catch the wind and are blown straight into the clubhouse.
Alex: Take your pick. "Zurich on the other line" amuses me plenty, although the idea a motion needed to be passed to call the club's financial situation "dire" gets me every time. Mick Molloy, who co-wrote the movie with his brother Richard, certainly wins the movie, delivering 75-plus per cent of the gold.
Robbie: I'd say "swear jar" is my favourite because it really sets the scene for the entire film. Our expectation is the sweet old lady won't be like the rough young bloke, then just as easy as you like explains the jar by saying "it's the jar you put money in when you say f*ck". It's all about playing with your expectations.
Nitpicks?
Alex: Is a club really worth saving if they only really had three members who wanted to play pennant on a Saturday? They were so desperate for numbers they forced Jack to play, but surely the club can't function if that few people actually want to take part in the event it exists for.
Also, the final bowls scene was pretty wild. Is there really a rule that if a player dies before their bowl lands that it doesn't count? That's how Bernie Fowler makes Jack rebowl Stan's winner. And I'm not hating on the flipper Jack bowls to win it, but he didn't actually need to bend the bowl both ways. He had a clear line if he just bowled normally, so it added nothing to the situation other than sheer absurdity.
Fun facts
Alex: In the movie, the Cityside Bowls Club is actually set at the Melbourne Bowls Club, next to Windsor train station, and coincidentally right next to our old school. We actually had a roll there didn't we?
Robbie: Yeah, it's right next to the station, we played there during PE once. From memory, we got told off for trying to do drives every second shot, and channeling Crackerjack, for attempting the flipper by bowling a big leg break and hoping the weight would end up on the right side.