This column sticks its neck out so much it is starting to feel a bit like Jordan Silk — but here we are once again with a swathe of sure-fire predictions.
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The start of the AFL season is almost upon us and as a long-suffering Essendon supporter I cannot wait for another season of hopes and dreams.
Maybe this time they won’t be crushed under the weight of excuse after excuse.
You know how this works — I make bold predictions and you laugh at them, now, and when we revisit them later in the season.
I have also roped in the rest of the sports journalists and sub-editing team so you can laugh at them as well.
Let’s get into it.
MAHER’S MUSINGS
Ladder Prediction:
1. Richmond
2. Melbourne (Premier)
3. Collingwood
4. Essendon
5. West Coast
6. GWS
7. Adelaide
8. North Melbourne
9. Port Adelaide
10. Sydney
11. Hawthorn
12. Geelong
13. Brisbane
14. Carlton
15. Western Bulldogs
16. St Kilda
17. Fremantle
18. Gold Coast
Comment: I find picking the ladder in blocks of four teams — alternating from top to bottom and back again — helps separate the groups. The top four pick themselves, and in my eyes so do the bottom. While I hope the Bombers can get it done this year, the Demons are certainly primed for success. You can raffle spots five through to 12 — there will likely be just a few games between them.
Brownlow Medal: Lachie Neale (Brisbane)
Comment: All aboard the Neale train. One of the more durable premium midfielders in the competition will play every game and star in every Lions win — the only thing stopping him from snaring Charlie will be how high that number is by the end of the year.
Coleman Medal: Orazio Fantasia (Essendon)
Comment: Lock it in. ‘‘Disney’’ will dazzle opposition sides and boot 85 goals for the season.
Rising Star Award: Jordan Ridley (Essendon)
Comment: Even though I have not picked the Bombers for the flag I still wear red and black glasses. Ridley is ready to lock down a spot in Essendon’s best 22, and will use that as a platform to perform brilliantly all year.
Storyline of the Year: Gold Coast will finally bite the bullet and give up on Surfer’s Paradise, selling its AFL licence to the Apple Isle and allowing the Tasmanian Devils to have a crack at the big time.
ALEX MITCHELL
Ladder Prediction:
1. Richmond (Premier)
2. West Coast
3. Collingwood
4. GWS
5. Melbourne
6. Essendon
7. Geelong
8. Brisbane
9. Sydney
10. Hawthorn
11. Port Adelaide
12. North Melbourne
13. Fremantle
14. Adelaide
15. Gold Coast
16. St Kilda
17. Carlton
18. Western Bulldogs
Brownlow Medal: Josh Kelly (GWS)
Coleman Medal: Lance Franklin (Sydney)
Rising Star Award: James Cousins (Hawthorn)
Storyline of the Year: The Alistair Clarkson Coaching Tree will be lopped down with Brendon Bolton and Luke Beveridge to be fired by the end of the year.
AYDIN PAYNE
Ladder Prediction:
1. West Coast
2. Adelaide
3. Richmond (Premier)
4. Melbourne
5. Essendon
6. Collingwood
7. Geelong
8. GWS
9. North Melbourne
10. Brisbane
11. Hawthorn
12. Sydney
13. Fremantle
14. Port Adelaide
15. Western Bulldogs
16. Carlton
17. St Kilda
18. Gold Coast
Brownlow Medal: Nat Fyfe (Fremantle) and Patrick Cripps (Carlton)
Coleman Medal: Ben Brown (North Melbourne)
Rising Star Award: Sam Walsh (Carlton)
Storyline of the Year: The AFL listens to the AFL coaches after they demand the runner’s rule to be removed.
LIAM NASH
Ladder Prediction:
1. Collingwood (Premier)
2. West Coast
3. Richmond
4. Hawthorn
5. Sydney
6. Melbourne
7. Geelong
8. Essendon
9. GWS
10. North Melbourne
11. Port Adelaide
12. Fremantle
13. Western Bulldogs
14. Adelaide
15. Carlton
16. St Kilda
17. Brisbane
18. Gold Coast
Brownlow Medal: Dustin Martin (Richmond)
Coleman Medal: Josh Kennedy (West Coast)
Rising Star Award: Ely Smith (Brisbane)
Storyline of the Year: After a shaky first half of the season the Hawks go on an unbeaten winning streak all the way to the grand final, only to be swooped for glory by the Magpies — to the tune of 50 points.
RON ANDERSON
Ladder Prediction:
1. Richmond (Premier)
2. Collingwood
3. West Coast
4. Melbourne
5. Geelong
6. GWS
7. Essendon
8. Hawthorn
9. Western Bulldogs
10. Port Adelaide
11. Sydney
12. North Melbourne
13. Adelaide
14. Brisbane
15. Fremantle
16. St Kilda
17. Carlton
18. Gold Coast
Brownlow Medal: Dustin Martin (Richmond)
Coleman Medal: Tom Lynch (Richmond)
Rising Star Award: Esava Ratugolea (Geelong)
Storyline of the Year: Alex Keath decides to walk away from AFL to take up an IPL contract.
ASHLEIGH WILLIAMSON
Ladder Prediction:
1. Richmond
2. West Coast
3. Collingwood (Premier)
4. Port Adelaide
5. GWS
6. Sydney
7. Melbourne
8. Hawthorn
9. Essendon
10. Adelaide
11. Geelong
12. Brisbane
13. Fremantle
14. North Melbourne
15. Western Bulldogs
16. St Kilda
17. Carlton
18. Gold Coast
Brownlow Medal: Nat Fyfe (Fremantle)
Coleman Medal: Charlie Dixon (Port Adelaide)
Rising Star Award: Liam Stocker (Carlton)
Storyline of the Year: Dom Sheed hits the post from the top of the goal square after the final siren to gift Collingwood a one-point victory in a grand final rematch.