Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Because apparently this is a thing.
What this should be called is 'International Talk Like English Actor Robert Newton When He Played Long John Silver in Treasure Island Day'.
Aye aye maties, the whole pirate speak that was exemplified by Disney in Treasure Island and Pirates of the Caribbean is how we think they spoke.
This day is utterly ridiculous and should not exist, because anyone acting like a pirate should get punched for being constantly annoying.
Maybe children can have a little fun but any adult who speaks like Robert Newton — grow up.
September 19 marks Day of the First Public Appearance of the Slovak National Council, first celebrated in 1848. And happy Independence Day to all our Saint Kitts and Nevis friends.
Plus, today you can eat as much butterscotch pudding as you like.
These type of international 'events' happen every day. Some actually serve a purpose, such as last week's R U OK Day? or cancer awareness occasions.
Other days have been adopted from our love of pop culture, such as May The Fourth Be With You.
But then there are a few days or weeks that are downright moronic.
Later this month, the USA will celebrate National Good Neighbor Day.
Gee, wouldn't you love to hear what the Canadians and Mexicans, even the Cubans, have to say about that?
I can't wait to hear 'The Donald' on his soapbox talking about how much he loves his neighbours.
Have the Americans ever been good neighbours?
Yes, this day highlights the spiritual and religious aspects of being a good neighbor, but the US hardly sets a good example.
On Feburary 22, it is socially acceptable to get plastered because it's Margarita Day — oh, and World Thinking Day.
Don't get too excited about Christmas because two weeks before is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.
July 6 is clearly going to lead to mass arrests of creepy blokes trying to kiss any moving female. That's because it's International Kissing Day.
Another perfect example of why these days are stupid comes on February 19: International Tug-of-War Day. But wait, August 27 is also Tug-of-War Day.
C'mon people, talk to each other. One day.
In fact, tug-of-war doesn't warrant a day of celebration. Half of all the nonsense singled out doesn't warrant a day or week of celebration.
May 8 is No Sock Day and if you want to catch pneumonia, go right ahead.
In March, there's a World Salt Awareness Week because we think it's superior to pepper.
Salt is good for seasoning and maybe we overindulge a little bit, but a week of awareness for salt?
There's Get Caught Reading Month, which makes no sense.
At what point has anyone felt guilty reading a book and thought 'Oh, I hope I don't get caught'?
Are you meant to read something controversial in public, such as Mein Kampf, while nodding in agreement?
The only day we can agree with is Use Common Sense Day on November 4.