Then he drove home and sat for 90 minutes in his car outside the apartment he shared with his fiancée before he could pluck up the courage to go inside. Then he went inside and sat in silence without saying a word to his fiancée about what had happened.
“I'd just had a nervous breakdown in the car, and I couldn't say anything. Why? Because I was taught to be a footballer - and men don't talk about these things. That's what women did - our sisters and aunties. That's not what men did,” he says.
New Zealand-born, Mr Schwass has been on the public speaking circuit for 16 years delivering the same message to blokes - connect to your emotions, talk to your loved ones, don't be ashamed to cry, and look after your mental health as you would look after a car.
The footballer known as ‘Swatta’ was a champion wingman, known for his pace and courage, who played in the Kangaroos’ 1996 premiership side before moving to the Sydney Swans.
But he was a champion with a secret. In 2006 he admitted he'd battled depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and suicidal thoughts throughout his whole AFL career. Today he's a champion of a different sort.
Schwass held a Kialla audience spellbound on Monday morning during a 90-minute breakfast talk as the final event of the inaugural Your Health and Wellbeing expo at The Woolshed, Kialla.
Among the more than 100 people at The Woolshed on Monday morning were Greater Shepparton City councillors and staff, wives and mothers with lived experience of men's mental health issues, and Schwass’ target audience - young men between the ages of 18 and 30, mostly tradies.
Schwass’ delivery style is dynamic. He stands on the same level as his audience and immediately notices an empty front three rows. Blokes being blokes want to get as far away from all this emotional stuff as possible. So he tells them all to stand up and move to the front.
After a few seconds of audience shuffling, Schwass launches into his talk by clarifying this is a "conversation" not a solo speech.
This allows him to fire questions at his audience. Who's got kids? Who's got boys? What are the reasons why we invest in physical health? Who has been to see a doctor? Who owns a car? Who services their car? Why do you think it's important to spend your time and money on servicing your car?
At the start of his talk, the answers are mumbled and reluctant. An hour later they arrive in showers, and with conviction.
Schwass’ point in delivering these blistering questions like bullets is to draw out the message that looking after our mental health, especially for men, is even more important than looking after the health of our car.
Schwass repeats some well-established ideas such as - men are taught from an early age not to reveal their feelings. But he relays them with renewed force, and with lived experience.
“The reason I couldn't talk to my fiancée, was because I didn't know how. I didn't know how to think, feel or have a language relevant to me to communicate what had just happened in the car. So I didn't talk. I was emotionally disconnected,” he says.
Fittingly, Schwass’ talk comes on the tail-end of Men's Health Week, which spotlights the alarming facts that more men have accidents, more men take their own lives and more men suffer from lifestyle-related health conditions than women at the same age.
“It's never been more important to give ourselves permission to feel, to think and to talk about whatever it is - whether we're male or female.
“If we don't change the way we do this - if we don't give ourselves permission to talk about these things then this epidemic of people tragically taking their own lives will not abate,” he says.
“We're not sooks by being vulnerable and emotionally connected and expressive, we're just being human beings,” he says.
'Swatta’ says it with the force of a man who knows.
If you or someone you know needs help now, phone:
Lifeline: 131 114;
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636;
Victoria suicide line: 1300 651 251; or
The suicide callback service: 1300 659 467.
