Whether it was making school lunches for four kids each day, scraping together funds to finance their many sports fees or navigating unfamiliar territory with the transition of three daughters into womanhood, on top of running a household, Campbell McKenzie has had to keep many ships afloat throughout his parenting voyage.
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The 55-year-old single parent to Olive, 20, Matilda, 19, Violet, 16, and Bill, 14, said he had “no clue how we got this far”.
Twelve years ago, in 2013, his four kids moved in with him full-time after leaving what had been an unsafe environment.
“It’s always been full-on,” Campbell said.
“The money has always been tight, but we’ve always gotten there one way or another.”
He said he always felt his parenting would be put under the microscope as a single dad, and doing it alone, he had constantly questioned his actions, “or lack thereof”.
“I wish I could have been more involved with some activities, but I know my limitations,” he said.
Perhaps it was too humble a self-assessment, as he went on to explain that he chose being present over the presence of big bucks.
“If it’s important to them, you need to be involved, whatever it is,” he said.
“It’s not always easy and all parents have their own loads and responsibilities, but we have to get there.
“I’ve even been a netball coach for this reason. Money we can make, time we cannot.”
Coaching kids, and the kids themselves, taught Campbell to listen and to watch.
“They speak more through their bodies than through their mouths sometimes,” he said.
“The biggest joy for me has been the privilege to see these beautiful kids of mine and their many and diverse friends grow into beautiful, caring, cheeky, smart and giving adults.”
He is most proud of the love, care and genuine interest his children have for each other.
“They fight and bicker at home, like most probably do, but when the eldest comes home or when one is down, the hugs are thick and real,” he said.
Campbell hasn’t had a partner for 10 years.
While he said it had been lonely, he felt adding an adult into the chaotic mix of functional dysfunction was too much to ask of someone, so he shelved the idea and forged forward with putting his kids’ needs first.
He credited his father with setting a great parenting example to follow.
“My father laid down for me a great template of how to do it; be honest, be strong, be soft, be there,” Campbell said.
In lieu of setting his kids up with a strong financial base, Campbell invested everything he could into ensuring they built a healthy bank of morals.
Chatting with them, it’s evident he succeeded.
The happy, witty, energetic bunch had many kind things to say about the parent who raised them.
“My dad is someone I aspire to be like; hardworking, supportive and brave. He has my back no matter what,” Olive said.
“Even though he is annoying, I wouldn’t change him for the world.”
Youngest daughter Violet agreed with her eldest sister, saying their father was “annoyingly funny”.
The youngest of the tribe, Bill, seconded the supportive notion, but perhaps the only boy in the family’s love language is mostly appeased by Campbell’s culinary capability.
“He’s a good cook; I love his cottage pie,” he said, inspired, before calling out to his father: “Hey Dad, what are we having for tea?”
Middle daughter Matilda recalls fondly learning to cook and bake with her dad while she was growing up, saying they were some of her favourite childhood moments, but that this Father’s Day would be all about doing Dad’s favourite things.
“We’ll try to take him out fishing if the weather’s good,” she said.
Violet said being anywhere near the water together as a family was their happy place, whether it was fishing in it, skiing on it or camping along it.
“If we’re happy, he’s happy. He always wants what’s best for us,” she said.
But before heading to the river this Father’s Day, Campbell said he planned to make scones for his own dad — “the best and smartest man” he knows — and take his troops to visit their pop, a title he’d like to have himself one day down the track.
Regardless of the family’s plans this Sunday, Campbell said he reckoned every day felt like Father’s Day, anyway.
“The work, the smiles, the laughs, the cries, the hugs, the yells, the conversations, are every day,” he said.
“Kids are amazing and beautiful and take us on the most amazing journeys.”
His only regret on his rigorous ride was a factor largely out of his control: not having a co-parent to help share the load.
But he accepted the cards he was dealt and, today, despite how busy and exhausting it could be, he said he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Happy Father’s Day, Campbell and Graham.