A couple of years ago I went to see a dermatologist, and somewhere in the middle of working through her questions, I found myself saying out loud, for the first time, that I thought I might be perimenopausal.
What surprised me was her response.
She didn’t hesitate, didn’t dismiss it, didn't tell me I was too young.
She said yes, very likely, and that it was far more common than most women realise to be hitting perimenopause in your mid to late 30s.
I was 37, and I left that appointment with a lot more to think about than my skin.
Turns out, I was on to something.
So are a lot of us, whether we know it or not.
Research published earlier this year found that more than half of women aged 30 to 35 are already experiencing moderate to severe perimenopause-related symptoms.
More than half.
That figure rises to 64 per cent for women aged 36 to 40.
And yet, most women don’t seek treatment until their mid 50s.
We are, quite literally, suffering in silence for decades.
The symptoms don’t always announce themselves as hormonal, and that’s a big part of why we miss them.
We’ve had children while navigating careers, relationships and households, all while the expectations placed on us have been higher than ever.
We’re exhausted, anxious, bloated, unable to shift weight from certain spots, sleeping badly and feeling flat or emotional, and we file all of it under life and keep moving.
What we rarely consider is that our hormones may actually be behind far more of this than we realise, and even if that thought does cross our mind, most of us wouldn’t know where to start.
Who do you even see? What tests do you ask for?
It’s a conversation most of us have never been taught to have.
Perimenopause can begin as early as the mid 30s and last up to a decade before menopause arrives.
During that time, oestrogen and progesterone rise and fall unpredictably, and those fluctuations are what drive the symptoms.
It is not a straight decline.
It is a hormonal rollercoaster that most women are riding completely unaware, and often completely alone.
There is finally some noise being made about this.
A four-part documentary series, Balance: A Perimenopause Journey, landed on Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV in January, and it is worth your time.
British physician and menopause specialist Dr Louise Newson has spoken openly about the fact that she herself did not recognise her own perimenopause symptoms despite dedicating her career to this exact subject.
If it can happen to her, it can happen to any of us.
So, what do you do if any of this is landing close to home?
Start with your GP, ask to have your hormones checked, be specific and persistent, and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re too young.
Dr Newson’s free Balance app is an excellent place to start.
It’s not until women actually address what’s happening with their hormones, and start to feel the difference, that the penny drops.
That thing they kept hearing from friends who’d been down that path, that they finally felt like themselves again, suddenly makes complete sense.
This is a conversation we should have been having a long time ago.
The good news is, we’re finally having it.
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