Negotiating the highs and lows of fatherhood takes hard work and patience. And lots of love. Even for someone whose job it was to look after young people.
The moment Dale Janke’s eldest son, Tom, was born changed his life for ever.
“I remember the midwife picking up Tom,” Dale said.
“He looked straight at me and I looked straight at him and the connection right there was just magical.
“I felt nine feet tall and bulletproof, and just felt very proud.”
Dale used to be a youth worker, which would see him working all kinds of strange hours.
But when he realised he was missing the best moments of his sons’ childhoods, he had to reassess what was best for his young family, eventually deciding to take a job as a landscape gardener at Notre Dame College in Shepparton.
“I think when I was single, or without a family, I could give my work 100 per cent,” Dale said.
“But then along comes a family and you just sort of need to stop and sort of be at home and be focused at home rather than thinking about work while with family.”
No father is truly qualified, or prepared, for the job of raising sons. But Dale taught Tom, now 19, and Xavier, 16, the best way he knew how.
“You do tend to think about it — am I doing enough as a dad, giving them the right upbringing, am I being a good role model?” he said.
“Have I provided enough, have I been there enough for my children?
“All you want for your sons is for them to grow up and be good men.”
Being a father is more than just being a provider for Dale — it’s being there for his children whenever they need him.
Ordinary things like taking his kids to their sporting commitments on the weekends, coaching their team, providing an inspirational half-time speech when the chips are down, and cheering them on no matter how far behind they are on the scoreboard.
“There's always going to be disappointments, but it's how you manage that and how you get around it. If you can teach them that, they'll be better off for it,” he said.
These simple everyday things galvanised his relationship with his sons, who know they can rely on him no matter what.
His eldest has left home, and his youngest isn’t far behind — but his boys know that the rock they could rely on to take them to footy on the weekend is always on the other end of the phone for the highs and the lows.
This story originally appeared in Don Magazine. You can find the full publication at https://www.sheppnews.com.au/features-and-magazines/don-magazine/