Australian Football Hall Of Fame inductee Peter Darley freely admits he wouldn't make it as a player now.
Darley gave one of the all-time acceptance speeches at Tuesday night's annual induction dinner. While at times his comments drew an uncomfortable gasp from the audience at the Melbourne black tie function, he was the hit of the evening.
His best among several memorable anecdotes was being suspended in 1972 while starring as a ruckman for SANFL side South Adelaide.
He was also working in sales for the then-national airline TAA and that gave him first-class international plane tickets.
So without his coach knowing, Darley flew to London to watch an Ashes Test. He was at Lord's when Australian bowler Bob Massie took 16 wickets on debut.
He celebrated hard on the flight home, but soon after his return had to play Glenelg.
"I must have turned on the gas and we went past Glenelg, but after three-quarter time I'd run out of gas and I called the bloody stretcher," he said.
"Halfway off the ground the stretcher broke and I had to get up and walk off.
"Football was something I did on a Saturday and fortunately I was able to get away with it. I wouldn't today, I tell you."
Darley starred in South's most recent premiership, way back in 1964, under legendary coach Neil Kerley.
"He had us running through sand hills and I said 'well, that's where I used to take my girlfriends'," Darley said.
"He taught (us) how to play as a team, not only on the football field, but he also offered us the opportunity to play off the football field - which I took up quite readily and happily."
In paying tribute to his fellow inductees, Melbourne great Garry Lyon was particularly taken with Darley.
"I'd be happy to go on a footy trip with Peter Darley - I don't know who you are, Pete, but I like the sound of you,," Lyon said.
While Darley and Lyon drew the laughs, AFLW greats Erin Phillips and Daisy Pearce brought the emotion with their acceptance speeches.
They joined trailblazer Debbie Lee as the only women in the hall of fame.
Phillips and Pearce paid tribute to Lee, while Phillips and her father Greg provided the highlight of the night.
They are the first father and daughter to be hall of fame members, with Greg already inducted for his stellar playing career at Port Adelaide and Collingwood.
"To Dad, I can't imagine how hard it would have been to tell your 13-year-old daughter that she couldn't play the game she loves any more," Phillips said, her voice breaking.
"And 27 years later, she's standing next to you in the Hall of Fame."
South Australian goalkicking machine Ken Farmer was elevated to legend status, while modern greats Nick Riewoldt and Luke Hodge were also inducted.
Darley joined Tasmania's John Leedham and George Owens from WA as this year's historical inductees.
There was a sense of sliding doors for Riewoldt and Lyon. Riewoldt was living on the Gold Coast when he was drafted to St Kilda.
Another 26km closer to Brisbane, he would have been in the Lions' recruiting zone at the time.
Lyon's father Peter played for Hawthorn, but not nearly enough to earn a father-son selection.
Lyon never made a grand final at Melbourne and noted his career coincided with four Hawthorn premierships.
"I haven't thought about it much," Lyon deadpanned, while also noting he had a "wonderful, wonderful time" at the Demons.
9°C