The Phoenix skipper salvaged a point against the odds after teammate Tim Payne's dismissal for a reckless tackle in first-half stoppage time.
Victory were on course for an away win to go clear at the A-League summit when Connor Chapman broke through for a 79th-minute opener.
Wellington and Victory could not be separated as they continue to battle for ALM supremacy. (Masanori Udagawa/AAP PHOTOS)
Instead, Jason Geria's nudge on Oskar van Hattum in the box produced a late VAR intervention and Wellington's captain converted from the spot to have the 9139-strong crowd singing "we are top of the league" on the final whistle.
"The place was buzzing," coach Giancarlo Italiano said.
"I'm extremely proud of the group ... it was a real big test and I can't fault them."
The contest looked likely to swing on Payne's red card, after an opening period full of chances.
As the halftime whistle loomed, the riled-up right-back caught Zinedine Machach with a studs-up lunge, deemed a red card after a VAR review.
From that point, Italiano's side gave up their attacking ambitions, assembling a wall of defenders focused on keeping Victory out.
The dismissal of Wellington's Tim Payne (right) looked set to tip the match in Victory's favour. (Masanori Udagawa/AAP PHOTOS)
After half an hour of second-half toil, Chapman finally broke through, deflecting a Nishan Velupillay effort past Alex Paulsen.
With his side trailing, Italiano flicked the switch and chased the contest, Van Hattum going close in the 90th minute with a curling effort.
The 21-year-old's pace gave Wellington their lifeline, as he raced onto a Ben Old through ball marginally quicker than Geria, who collected Van Hattum clumsily.
Tony Popovic's side felt hard done by, having created enough to win the match even before Payne's dismissal.
The result and performance echoes the sides' earlier meeting this season, when Wellington drew 1-1 despite not having a shot on target, scoring through an own goal.
"The emotion is frustration," Popovic said.
"We came here and we dominated a game of football.
"You start to think, 'We've got this, we protect the lead' ... but it shows we've got a lot of growing to do."
In the first half, Daniel Arzani torched Wellington's teenage left-back Lukas Kelly-Heald in a livewire showing.
He skinned Kelly-Heald and played the perfect ball across goal, only for opposite winger Velupillay to stake a claim for miss of the season - an air-swing with the goal at his mercy less than a metre out.
Velupillay looked to have made amends a minute later, picking up a loose ball and lashing home, only for the effort to be ruled out for offside against Chris Ikonomidis.
It was heavy going for Arzani and Victory in the second half, when they had 80 per cent possession for fewer clear-cut chances.
The result maintains the status quo on the ladder.
Both sides are on 25 points after 13 games, but with the Phoenix on top having recorded more wins.
Rufer's penalty came at the expense of Kosta Barbarouses setting a Wellington club record by scoring in a sixth successive game.
Barbarouses looked like taking the spot kick before handing over to the captain at the last moment; a decision which earned his side a point.
"It's a very selfless team," Italiano said. "For me, that's what leadership is."
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