The love between a mother and child is instant and grows deeper with time. It’s a friendship so unique that a mother is often a child’s first friend.
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She embodies guidance, is a source of strength, is a partner in exploration and is a masterpiece etched into the very core of one’s heart.
For sisters Natalie and Hannah Freeman, their mother Melinda was all those things and more.
She was their guiding light, a fuel that could enable the impossible and being a mother was her number one priority in life.
However, when Alzheimer’s, the relentless thief of memories, cast its shadow over the girls mother in 2017, she sadly lost her life to the disease.
Her mind had crept away before her diagnosis in 2015, and although Alzheimer’s took her memories then her life, the sisters said it’s their unforgettable memories that keep their mother’s spirit alive.
“She was such a good mum. She never struggled with anything, and us girls were her number one priority,” Natalie said.
“I remember her cooking chocolate cake in the kitchen, and the movie Greece was on, and she just started dancing and then singing the Grease Lightning song so loud – I never want to forget that memory.”
Hannah said their mother was a stay-at-home mum and loved every aspect of it, including cooking, knitting, and even making costumes.
“She made me a lion costume once for a circus theme day at school and curled the main and the tail with paper and scissors. It was a very cool costume, and no-one else had anything like it — she put so much time into it,” Hannah said.
“She would also knit blankets and scarves for our toys — she was so clever.”
Alzheimer’s disease typically begins with mild memory loss and confusion and progresses to more severe cognitive impairment.
Common symptoms include forgetfulness, difficulty solving problems, confusion about time and place, changes in mood and behaviour, and, sadly, the ability to recognise loved ones.
“It started with her forgetting where she left her keys or where she parked her car or how to walk home and then even forgetting to pick us up from school,” Hannah said.
“She loved walking and would walk everywhere, so forgetting how to get home must have been hard for her.
“From the outside, people would have probably thought she was fine, but she wasn’t, and we could tell.
“Dad was always taking her to specialist appointments in Melbourne, and it was such stressful times, and as a family, we struggled a lot.”
Hannah and Natalie admitted that watching their mother dwindle before their eyes was their hardest life battle to date and said their family on the sidelines wasn’t coping. They weren’t even communicating.
“It was a quiet time. We didn’t talk to one another, almost like we were pretending it wasn’t happening,” Natalie said.
“Dad was so stressed and still working, and it was draining on everyone.
“Mum was forgetting us, and we were all depressed. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.
“You lose the person before they actually go — it’s heartbreaking.
“If you’re going through something similar, reach out for help, have patience and have conversations about the disease and what’s going on.”
Before Melinda passed, Natalie’s formal was approaching, so the dressmaker allowed her to take the dress home to try it on in front of her mother, and like a light that switched on for a moment, her mother returned.
“I will never forget it,” Natalie said.
“She said my name, but it was the way she said it that meant so much.
“For a second, she was there.”
Today, both girls, their two sisters Rebecca and Katherine and father Scott, deal with their loss differently but are now closer than ever.
All four girls are busy chasing their career dreams, with Rebecca working as an engineer in Adelaide, Katherine as a pharmacist in Mildura, Natalie as a dental technician in Shepparton, and Hannah undergoing a bachelor’s in bio-medical science with the University of Melbourne.
And next year, Natalie and Hannah, in honour of their mum and the amazing woman she was, are planning a walk in Shepparton to raise awareness and funds for research into the disease.
Although many days remain challenging for the family, Hannah said friends, each other and humour had helped them deal with grief.
“If you’re not laughing, you’re crying,” Hannah said.
“And laughing is the better alternative.
“We have so many beautiful memories of her, and that’s what we try to remember.
“She was our mum and the best mum. Alzheimer’s may have taken her from us, but it can never touch the love that remains.”
This story originally appeared in Betty. You can find the full publication at tinyurl.com/BETTY-Oct2023
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