Well, doggone it, I couldn't believe it. The Boss flashes this copy of The Launceston Examiner at me and what do I see?
My little sister, Coco, sitting there as cool as a frozen Chessie, staring into the middle distance like there's something profound happening in that little pea-brain of hers.
And there isn't, I assure you. Apart from food, pats, naps and balls, there's nothing going on. I should know.
I mean, I started out just like her - but managed, with perseverance and natural talent, to better myself and climb out of it, as you know.
For starters, I've been an insightful and provocative blogger, ever since I was a ball of furry fluff, being the biggest and most brilliant one of the litter.
LIke, I take to technology like I take off after a duck on the water, if you know what I mean.
Four years ago I started offering advice to humans and I haven't looked back. Or forwards either, being in the moment like I am. All my blogs are still there for the world to see, at www.countrynews.com.au/thegeneral - here's a snap from my first one, showing my Mum, Queenie, doing a bit of tree climbing:
Then, showing exceptional flair as a digital hound, I was an early adopter on Twitter. I know a lot of you people don't know how to Tweet but there I am, relaxed and in my element amongst the commentariat, the outraged, the self-important, the trolls and The Donald. I'm certain The Donald is following me by now - I can tell because he takes my advice to do what feels good at any particular moment. You can find more of this helpful advice at my Twitter handle, @thebossesdog.
Then there's Facebook. I'm a very old hand at Facebook too - that's where I complain about the state of the river and tell the Murray Darling mob, the government , Goulburn Murray Water and the Catchment Management Authority how they ought to be running it - because between them they've got very little idea. They can't get off the training wheels.
You can find me, The General, and my followers on Facebook @TheBossesDog.
Yet, despite all of this, I've never made the front page, which is ridiculous when you think about it. What can be more appealing than dogs on the front page, apart from babies and small, happy and well-behaved children?
And here's my little Sis, way down there in the Apple Isle, cracking the big time just because she's fallen in with royalty.
It's not fair. The Boss just laughs and tells me life isn't fair anyway and to get on with it.
I might just get on with it too - like chewing his arm off while he's asleep, then ripping his entrails out and hanging them on the fence. That sort of thing might hit the front page.
I'll give it some more thought. Woof!