Meeting the ever-rising standards of a toddler is tough work

By Tyler Maher

Jun 16, 2021

They call them the ‘terrible twos'.

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That age where a baby turns into a toddler and all hell breaks loose — emotionally, developmentally and physically.

But in my experience with my daughter Eden, it was her third birthday which really kicked the hurdles of parenting up a notch

That's not to say there weren't challenges and tantrums when she was two.

But along with the meltdowns becoming volcanic at the stroke of midnight when she turned three, another change has been one which caught me completely by surprise.

My toddler now has standards — and lofty ones at that.

No longer is the closest playground to home good enough for Eden.

When we first approached it along the walking track following her birthday, the disdain on her face was a shock to the system.

“I don't want this playground,” she huffed.

“I want the great playground.”

Clearly I wasn't walking all the way home to then bundle her into the car and head to Victoria Park Lake — which is the playground I assumed she was describing as great — with the after-work sunlight almost non-existent as it was, so a tantrum ensued.

But like a canary in a mine, that incident was the early warning system for a new era of toddler behaviour in our household.

Cereal or toast with butter and vegemite no longer hits the spot — smoothies are the flavour of the month, or failing that a selection of butter, jam and various other spreads need to be provided in the morning to get her to eat.

Shows on ABC Kids are also "boring" now according to Miss Three — and don't get me started on now having to use a bath bomb every time we bathe.

It seemed that when she was two, I could wriggle my way out of her disproving gaze with smoke, mirrors and sleight of hand.

But now the biggest critic in my life — and as a journalist I've got a few — stands at just above three feet tall and is not taking no for an answer.

At least four-week-old Bonnie ‘s standards are uber-achievable.