I was visiting a winemaker friend, early seventies, who had a friend over that day.
The three of us had lunch, which turned into a visit to the friend’s garden, and somewhere in the middle of it she looked at me, half confused, and asked exactly that.
Honestly, I was the one who was baffled.
Why wouldn't I? You’re interesting, I told her.
You’ve got a lifetime of wisdom and lived experience. You’ve built things.
You’ve come out the other side of real tragedy. You’re resilient, clever and creative and full of stories.
I can learn so much from you. Plus, I added, I guess I have always been a bit of an old soul myself.
When I lived in London at 20, my whole friendship group was late twenties to mid-thirties.
Later in life, it flipped the other way, I collected some of my favourite life-long besties while solo travelling in Mexico.
I’ve had the privilege of employing and mentoring young teens that blossomed to be inspiring adults that I am immensely proud of.
Some of them still call me today, for anything from requesting a reference to an hour-long chat or cry when life is a little full on.
These days I read with the preppies at my daughter’s school, where in addition to reading, it’s more listening to them tell their own stories or answering 40 questions that leave me a little dizzy.
Kids have a way of reminding you what curiosity looks like when it hasn’t been worn down yet.
Observing the shimmering joy, in older people interacting with babies and young children does something to my heart.
It’s been proven, of course, that older adults who spent regular time with pre-schoolers reported real improvements to their mood and mental wellbeing, saying it reminded them they still belonged to a wider community.
On the Greek island of Ikaria, residents live longer and stay sharper than almost anywhere else in the world.
Part of the answer is diet and terrain, but a large part of it is purpose.
Older Ikarians stay woven into daily life, tending land, minding grandchildren, showing up at festivals, and that sense of being needed appears to matter as much as anything on a dinner plate.
We gain so much when we mix across generations.
The younger crowd keeps you informed; my daughter reports the phrase “six-seven” is banned at school.
Given us mum’s use it now, I guess if it’s “banned” that makes us even more cool right?
There is also a looseness the young bring, a way of nudging an older mindset that can otherwise calcify in their thinking toward something a bit more open.
Meanwhile, the older generation offers grounding the young ones are often missing, the kind that only comes from having actually lived a life.
So I go from reading with preps, to a young-gun start-up client meeting, to the millionth document edit for a successful genius 50-something who doesn’t know how to use the most basics of technology, ending the day with our unofficial dog walking crew of thirties through seventies. Fulfilled.
None of us are finished products.
Every age bracket has something to offer.
With an open mind, empathy and curiosity, you’ll find the real magic.
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