Those were the words of Shepparton police Sergeant Ryan Johansen, who had to draw his gun on a knife-wielding man threatening another officer who had fallen during a chase.
Brayden Donnelly, 31, of Shepparton, pleaded guilty in Shepparton Magistrates’ Court to recklessly assaulting an emergency worker, threatening injury to three police officers to avoid arrest, using a controlled weapon, using a prohibited weapon, possessing a controlled weapon, possessing methamphetamines and possessing diazepam and Lyrica.
Prosecutor Senior Constable Ethan Hamill told the court police responded to 000 calls reporting a man armed with a knife on Williams Rd, Shepparton at 8.40am on February 5.
Police found Donnelly on Watson St, outside Total Tools, and tried to negotiate with him from a police car to get him to drop a knife and extendable baton he was holding.
However, Donnelly ran off and police chased him on foot.
While chasing him, one officer slipped and fell to the ground in the gutter of the Total Tools loading dock.
Donnelly turned back, swung the baton at him and narrowly missed his leg.
The officer tried to taser Donnelly, but was unsuccessful.
A second officer approached Donnelly with his gun drawn, and yelled at him to drop his weapons, but was unsuccessful.
Two other officers arrived and drew their tasers on Donnelly, before chasing him through the Total Tools car park.
He eventually stopped and surrendered.
Police found the knife and extendable baton Donnelly had used, another knife in his pocket, and drugs including methamphetamines and Lyrica when they arrested him.
The court heard after the incident Donnelly was taken to hospital under police guard, where an officer heard him saying, “I should’ve stabbed him ... I regret that, I regret not stabbing that cop.”
In a victim impact statement read to the court, the fallen police officer said his “heart was pumping”, and he was in a “fair bit of shock”.
However, the court heard his “shock turned to anger” because he realised Donnelly made a “conscious decision” to turn around and attack him.
The incident happened on his first day as acting sergeant, which made him question if “my new position was worth it”.
He said he would have flashbacks for “the rest of my career”.
“It’s changed the way I’ll approach jobs on foot,” he said.
“It’s put into real terms how dangerous policing is.
“It will always be in the back of my mind what happened that day.”
Sgt Johansen, the officer who drew his gun on Donnelly, said in a victim impact statement read to the court, the incident “plays in my head, over and over again”, and there’s “no time limit to how long I will suffer the mental toll”.
He said he’d felt “helpless”, despite being on the force for 13 years.
“Our lives don’t matter to him,” Sgt Johansen said.
He said he now constantly questioned “will I have to do this again on the next job?”, despite doing his best in a “really trying situation”.
In the final victim impact statement read to the court, one of the officers who caught Donnelly said he was now “more cautious, on edge and guarded”.
He said being “directly threatened with a weapon” has taken a “mental toll” on him.
“Nothing prepares you for seeing your colleagues at risk,” he said.
“One wrong move could cause significant injury or even death.”
Donnelly’s defence solicitor Luke Slater said “police dealt with it quite well”, and his client “may well have been shot”.
He also told the court it was a “huge benefit” for everyone the matter had resolved.
Mr Slater said Donnelly had an intellectual disability, making him a “highly vulnerable prisoner”, which also had “significant relevance” in explaining his behaviour.
He said Donnelly had a “horribly disadvantageous life”, and his decision-making ability fell “well below his peers”.
Mr Slater said “things were going quite well” for his client after he’d been released from prison in 2023, until he came off his depot injection in late 2024.
Donnelly will next face court in June.
