I can’t decide. Look, I’m a struggling poet and I’m not built for decisions.
Decisions are made by important people in suits who argue a lot and then decide not to argue anymore until the next decision needs to be made. Or maybe that's wars. I can't decide.
Anyway, one thing I am absolutely certain of is that we are all living through indecisive times. Our futures are fogged by uncertainty and doubt.
It is tempting to look back at those halcyon days when we could go out wherever and whenever we wanted. It all seemed so easy and relaxed then.
They were wild, crazy days of school pick-ups, shopping, parties, cinemas, concerts and coffee bars. Remember them?
I'm now in my third week of lockdown and time is bending like Einstein said it would.
I now live in the distant past when my children were teenagers and the world seemed so certain. But was it?
Below are a few extracts from a diary I kept when I put the intelligent design vs smashed plate theory to the test.
Monday Objective: Drive partner to work and Petgirl to friend’s house for sleepover. On the way, drop cat off at vets for neutering. Do shopping on return journey then arrange time for gasman to fix boiler. Then pick up drugged cat and partner from work and take Rockboy to cinema. Cook tea and pick up Rockboy.
Result: Smashed Plates. Couldn’t find cat box and was late for neutering, which threw Petgirl and partner arrival schedules to the dogs. Schedule blown to pieces by call to pick up freezing Petgirl and friends from a rain-drenched mall. Forgot shopping but included it in cinema journey, which made Rockboy late too.
Tuesday Objective: Drive partner to work and return by 10 am to meet gasman. Deliver Rockboy to Kyabram by mid morning for band rehearsal and pick up by 5 pm. Pick up partner on return journey and drop Rockboy and partner off for STAG rehearsal by 6 pm. Collect at 7.30 pm after cooking tea and collecting Petgirl from sleepover.
Result: Smashed Plates. Gasman didn’t arrive until 11 am, which threw out Kyabram arrival time, which scuppered band rehearsal and pick-up time, which demolished partner pick-up, STAG and cooking tea times. Nearly forgot Petgirl sleepover pick-up.
Wednesday: Smashed Plates. See above.
Thursday: Smashed Plates. See above the above.
Friday: End of a smashing week.
Saturday and Sunday: Pick up the pieces and start again.
Conclusion: The intelligent design theory can only possibly work if the designer is a circus performer who can balance several hundred spinning plates on the end of four bendy sticks at once with no breakages. Scientists have calculated the probability of this actually happening as laughable.