A Gippsland dairy farmer is using his experience with poor mental health to help other people by becoming an advocate and mentor.
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Six years ago, Aaron Thomas was in crisis. His mental health was suffering and he was self-destructive.
Since then he has learned how to use medication, counselling and physical fitness to improve his life, his relationship with his ex-wife and children, and to beat alcoholism.
Aaron, from Yarram, has also become a mentor in a wellbeing program and last year was accepted into the current cohort of the Australian Rural Leadership Foundation’s program, with his position funded by a Gardiner Dairy Foundation scholarship.
As a participant of ARLP, Aaron is part of a cohort that is seeking to identify how to support increasing the number of health professionals in rural and remote Australia.
Aaron is manager of a dairy farm in central Gippsland owned by Paul and Lisa Mumford.
It was Paul who found Aaron at his lowest point, in severe crisis, and helped him to get help. The couple has stood by him every day since.
“I’ve worked with Paul and Lisa for 15 years,” Aaron said.
“We have a great relationship.”
Through counselling, Aaron has also learned to build a better relationship with his ex-wife and they share their children’s care, albeit across two households.
“Our girls move easily between the two households. That flexibility works for Vanessa and I,” Aaron said.
It was recognising he had depression and anxiety, and there were options to treat it and help him get better, that made the difference for Aaron.
Fitness focus
He was always into sport. A couple of knee and shoulder surgeries later, he had stopped making time for exercise. Working long hours on the dairy farm and obsessing over his life led him down a dark path. He’s an alcoholic.
As part of his mental wellbeing recovery, Aaron initially took to cycling — training and racing.
Over the past six years, that has evolved to social cycling, and he has added running and swimming into his physical exercise regime.
“I was swimming a lot when I was younger and I got back into swimming three months ago. I now go into the pool three times a week,” he said.
Aaron has pivoted his enjoyment of social cycling into a volunteer mentor role with CycleWELL. He initially attended a CycleWELL retreat in 2018 as a participant.
CycleWELL was founded by Ashley Bennallack, who continues to run the program, combining social cycling challenges with health education and wellness workshops at retreats in central Victoria.
After participating in one retreat, Aaron has become a mentor at two further retreats.
Aaron’s lived experience underpins his role as a mentor. He said he also gained a lot from listening to other participants’ stories.
“I know what it’s like to look down the barrel of a gun,” he said.
“The retreats teach life skills, we get blokes out riding their bikes, we learn about nutrition, and a personal trainer teaches us basic exercises we can do on the lounge room floor.
“We learn how to be a better dad, husband, partner, bloke — and that it’s okay to invest in myself and my health.
“When I hear other people’s stories, it snaps me out of my own self pity.
“That helps me to build resilience and momentum as I’m processing stuff — other people’s stories help me to sort out my own shit.
“The common link is cycling — people who like riding a bike.”
Tapping into the toolbox
For Aaron, it’s all tools for the toolbox that help him daily.
“I’m still taking medication. It’s a small dose and it keeps me level. I’ve tried going off it; that didn’t work — I was getting agitated very easily.
“For me, I didn’t understand what caused it. When I found it was a chemical imbalance, it was a relief.
“I learned what was happening and the reason why I was feeling how I was, and why I wasn’t dealing with stuff.
“Medication is part of my life. I have a chemical imbalance and I rely on the medication to stop the wires in my brainbox from shorting out.”
After several years seeing a counsellor regularly, Aaron now checks in only periodically with the same counsellor.
“I touch base with him when there’s an issue. He’s more of a life coach now, helping me to identify how to work out the issue that’s bugging me.
“I know now it’s okay to have a bad day or a bad hour in a day. I know it’s okay to lay on the couch for half a day to process my bullshit and then get up and get going again.
“I’ll now say I’m having a shit day and I need to work it out.
“It’s taken me a long time to stop feeling guilty and accept it. Sometimes nothing has gone wrong, I’m just having a bad day.
“I’ve learned it’s important to stay in my own lane, be willing to listen and learn and grow, and be myself.
“That is enough to get me where I want to go.”
Stepping up
Last year, at 5am one morning, Aaron was checking his messages before milking and saw a link to the ARLF program.
Initially he didn’t think it was for him, but he completed the application form.
He described his interview as chaotic. It was the middle of harvest, he was hot and dirty, and the prompt on his phone told him he had a Zoom interview.
“I connected and all the interview panel were in shirts and ties. I was covered in mud and black dirt,” Aaron said.
A few weeks later he was offered a place in the leadership program, funded by a Gardiner scholarship.
“Authenticity and enthusiasm for what I’m doing got me the scholarship and the place in the program,” Aaron said.
“Still to this day I pinch myself that I was chosen.”
Since starting the program, Aaron has joined a project group within the cohort that is trying to identify how to attract health professionals to rural and remote Australia.
“We settled on developing a project that can bolt on to existing programs,” he said.
“We’re all currently in the process of conducting field research to find out what a community thinks that looks like for them.
“Our aim is to develop a framework of four pillars that can be added to according to community requirements.”