Adults with disabilities often have few opportunities to socialise, and for Benjamin, days can feel long and isolating, filled with gaming, swimming, and computer work, while interactions outside his support team are rare.
His mother hopes Benjamin can experience love, friendship, and connection just like anyone else.
“I’m just trying to get myself off the ground,” Benjamin said.
For him, the phrase is more than a metaphor, it’s a goal; to find purpose, independence, and companionship in a world that can feel isolating.
Benjamin has lived with an intellectual disability his whole life, compounded by traumatic experiences, including the death of his brother and a near-drowning accident as a child.
Wendy said he has always been caring and thoughtful, qualities she hopes others will notice.
“He doesn’t go out a lot,” Wendy said.
“He likes his games, going to the pool, and he talks mostly to me.”
Socialising is challenging for Benjamin.
At the pool, where he spends much of his time, he usually stays quiet.
“I don’t usually speak to anyone until they speak to me,” Benjamin said.
“I don’t know how the conversation works.”
Wendy, who works in Yarrawonga, said there were a few programs in Shepparton to help adults with disabilities meet others or form relationships.
Watching his sister build a life with a partner and children sparked Benjamin’s own longing for connection.
“She’s got kids, she’s got a boyfriend,” Wendy said.
“That’s what’s made Benjamin want a partner and children, too.
“He doesn’t want to be lonely.”
Benjamin described a relationship as “like a book,” where two people write their stories together.
“I wouldn’t mind helping someone with their dreams,” Benjamin said
“And getting a little bit of help here and there, too.”
He once formed a connection through a disability support group.
Wendy recalled a young woman he met through a singing program.
When she was in hospital, Benjamin travelled from Shepparton to Melbourne to visit her, bringing toys and sitting quietly by her side.
Although the relationship didn’t continue, it showed Benjamin’s capacity for care and thoughtfulness.
Loneliness is something Wendy hears in Benjamin’s voice late at night.
“Sometimes I’ll get a call, and he’s crying,” Wendy said
“He just says he’s lonely.”
Living with NDIS support, Benjamin’s days are structured around short activities like bowling or swimming.
Outside those hours, life can feel small, and friendships have faded.
“I don’t really have anyone anymore,” he said.
When asked what he wants in a partner, Benjamin said appearance don’t matter.
“As long as she loves me the way I love her,” Benjamin said.
“It’s not the size or the thing that matters.
It’s the heart that matters.”
Wendy hopes Benjamin will be seen as a whole person, capable of love and connection.
“Adults with intellectual disabilities need to be seen as people,” Wendy said.
“As human beings.”
Benjamin summed it up simply: “everything starts on a blank page; you’ve just got to find a start.”
