Loves and lives lost and found

By Murray Silby

Mar 10, 2023

Lauren Minicozzi (right) with her nonna Anna Ciavarella. Photo by Megan Fisher

“By the end of the book I was worn out, exhausted, ... but I thought if it’s going to help one family not to go through it, that’s a bonus,” Anna Ciavarella says about the book she’s written with her granddaughter Lauren Minicozzi. Photo by Megan Fisher

*Everything Can Change In a Moment Anna’s Memoir* can be purchased online.

Tatura resident Anna Ciavarella has shared her journey though the difficulties of mental health and suicide in her memoir, with the help of her granddaughter Lauren Minicozzi.

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Sometimes as a journalist you are asked to write a story that is so full, you are unsure of where to start to tell it.

This is one of those that continually wants to overflow no matter how carefully you try to pour it out.

The story of Tatura resident Anna Ciavarella could be that of a little migrant girl, abused as a child in Italy, brought to Shepparton, Australia, as a seven-year-old, unable to speak the language, thrust into school and work immediately, betrothed at 15 and married at 17.

That is a story worth telling all by itself.

I could also have concentrated on the collaboration of Anna with her granddaughter Lauren Minicozzi on writing a book, Anna’s memoir, the struggles of doing so during COVID-19 lockdowns and the blossoming of their relationship as each grew to know and understand the other so much more during the process.

But there are many more elements to her story, too.

The story of a woman who lost both her husband and her son to suicide and the life she’s built while living with those crushing trials.

Everything Can Change In a Moment Anna’s Memoir is a reminder to us all that you never know what a person you pass in the street might have to deal with that day, or every other day, hour and minute of their life.

This is both in the sense of the overwhelming weight Anna Ciavarella’s husband and son bore, and the unspeakable grief a wife and mother was forced to wade through each day since in order to just live her own life as an ongoing protector, provider and carer for those still around her.

“There were lots of ups and downs. What’s in the book is only half of it,” Nonna Ciavarella says.

“By the end of the book I was worn out, exhausted, but I was so happy, not happy within myself, but I thought if it’s going to help one family not to go through it, that’s a bonus.”

It is a book that people should read with caution as it may contain triggers for some.

But it’s not just a tale of woe and strife — this is a story of resilience, strength and determination, penned with the love of a dear relative, in this case a granddaughter, who, as she wrote it, was often finding out new revelations for the first time herself.

“I had a job to do and I had to look at it like a job,” Lauren said.

“From there I was able to distance myself. Probably after it, then you let that absorb in and then it’s like, ‘Oh, wow, how could someone go through everything they’ve done and come out the other end still so positive, so appreciate, so just grateful of life?’ It’s honestly a testament to her (Nonna).

“It’s honestly an honour to be able to share her story with others because I know, just within my own circle, so many people have said what a remarkable book it is and it’s given them another perspective on life.”

For Nonna, the pain remains, but so to do the many other reasons to go on.

“I’ll never get over it. I just put on a good front and try to be happy,” she said.

“A lot of people don’t realise what I’m going through and they all get a shock.

“God has got me through in so many ways.

“Not only that, my beautiful children, grandchildren, sisters. I lost my brother.

“We do get upset and emotional with what happens in life, but each day I just think I’ve gone through and I’ve been blessed and I’d rather feel that I’ve been blessed to get through because I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one who’s been through this.”

Everything Can Change In a Moment Anna’s Memoir can be purchased at www.laurenminicozzi.com