Times of deep change demand deep dialogue.
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It’s been six months since Cleo the cat with Pharaoh eyes passed on to the great beyond.
So it seems the period of mourning for PetGirl has passed and it’s now time for a replacement.
Of course, such a momentous decision means a difficult conversation must be had with the incumbent animal god — his royal highness Prince Finski Korsakov, the noble Belgian.
The other day we sat together on the verandah step and our chat went something like this:
Me: So have you had a happy life so far Finn?
Finn: I suppose so.
Me: What do you mean you suppose so?
Finn: I could have had more chicken necks and walks.
Me: OK my fault. I got diverted. How do you define happiness?
Finn: Dunno.
Me: OK, let’s rephrase that. What makes you happy?
Finn: Just told you.
Me: So more chicken necks and walks. Is that it?
Finn: Yep.
Me: What about stuff? Would you like a more comfortable bed?
Finn: Nope.
Me: What about a new collar?
Finn: Nope.
Me: Lead, superhero neck-scarf, bowl?
Finn: Nope.
Me: Right, so apart from the chicken neck and walks deficiency, you’re pretty happy with your lot in life?
Finn: Yep.
Me: What about friends? Wouldn’t you like more friends?
Finn: Nope.
Me: Aren’t you lonely?
Finn: Nope.
Me: You’d like a new friend wouldn’t you?
Finn: (side-eye) I’ve got you.
Me: Don’t you miss Cleo?
Finn: (long side-eye) Nope.
Me: She thought the world of you. Remember all those muzzle rubs and snoozes in the sun?
Finn: She thought she was the queen. And she ate my food.
Me: Yeah well, cats can be quirky.
(Stare into the middle distance).
Me: Look, I can’t put this any other way. PetGirl wants a replacement Cleo and she’s got one arriving tomorrow. His name’s Jasper and he’s black with bright hazel eyes, a little white bib and white paws and he says he just loves old dogs and he can’t wait to meet you.
Finn: (side-eye followed by a whimper and long heart-wrenching howl) Noooooooooowwhooo!
Me: You’ll get used to him. He might jump your tail and smack you around the chops for a while, but he’s just a kitty. You’ll love him eventually.
Finn: (long side-eye).
Me: Life is constant change mate. There’s no such thing as forever. What we think is permanent is just here for a while. Old dogs just want to live out the endless procession of days and long evenings ahead of them just as they always have done and not ask for much — just a few chicken necks and walks, and a reliable sitting member to look after their interests in the big house. But life is not on your side my friend because the future is not yours. It belongs to Jasper and change is coming like a freight train in the night, as it always does. So chin up my old friend and enjoy your time left. You may even get a new food bowl, a chance to bypass the town traffic and ride first class for a while.
Finn: (wanders off to lie in the shade, head on paws, side-eye on the back door).
John Lewis is a former News journalist
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