But by accepting, understanding and acknowledging that we are human, imperfect and flawed, we can then be kind, caring and compassionate to ourselves and to others.
Clinical social worker and ACT Curious director Michelle Trudgen leads a team of professionals who help people increase their psychological flexibility with evidenced-based behavioural strategies to overcome challenges and enhance their personal and work life.
“Women can get angry and frustrated because they may be worried, feeling stressed, are sleep deprived, not making healthy food choices or even persistently feeling sad and stuck in an unhappy relationship be it intimate or work,” Michelle said.
“It is okay to feel angry and frustrated and then practice mindfulness to make room for these difficult feelings and be curious about why we are feeling this way and still move towards the people who are important to us.”
Factors such as relationship issues, children, caring for elderly parents, financial worries and employment concerns can all lead to anger and frustration but Michelle said a lack of sleep was also a major contributor.
“Sleep is the elephant in the room and the foundation of our health,” Michelle said.
“When we only want positivity and don’t accept the normality of difficult thoughts and feelings, we are more likely to avoid or control them by less healthy measures.
“We are more likely to overeat, or eat less, be irritable, blame others, sleep more, stop doing the activities that normally bring us joy and generally live our life in our mind and hit the pause button on our life.”
Strategies
Maintaining regular contact and social connections with family and friends who are important to you is paramount to coping with the inevitable challenges we face in life.
Get enough sleep. A 2017 book by neuroscience professor Matthew Walker, titled Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams, said adults 45 years or older who sleep fewer than six hours a night are 200 per cent more likely to have a heart attack or stroke in their lifetime, compared to those sleeping seven or eight hours a night.
Be kind and accepting of yourself by noticing and naming your feelings of anger and frustration. Notice when you are feeling this in your body and lean into it, don’t try and avoid, distract or control these difficult feelings, instead act on your values by responding (not knee-jerk reacting) and being the person you want to stand for/be in this moment.
If you’re experiencing anger or frustration, persistent low mood, feeling suicidal or your relationships and functioning at work, home or leisure is impacted, seek professional help.
Acceptance and commitment therapy and mindfulness teaches us that all our feelings are okay, they are not right or good or bad, and just because we have a feeling, we don’t have to act on it.
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