But for too many men, ‘Mr Perfect’ can be a mask for a far deeper pain.
For Echuca’s Andy Rogers, this was true for too many of his friends.
Each battling mental illness, but each struggling to open up in a society that can place enormous expectations on men to “keep it together”.
Wanting to make a change and create a space where local men could feel supported, Andy launched the monthly Mr Perfect barbecue right here in Echuca.
“I had a few friends who had mental health issues and looked to see what was available in Echuca. I then decided I wanted to start some kind of a support group,” he said.
“That’s when I came across Mr Perfect.”
Described as “mental health’s mate”, Mr Perfect is an Australia-based grassroots charity aiming to address the men's mental health crisis.
The name is an ironic nod to the mask many men can wear to meet society's expectations.
Mr Perfect encourages connection and community in a supportive and inclusive environment, largely through monthly meetup barbecues.
“It's all based around providing a relaxed atmosphere where people can just come along and talk mental health if they want,” Andy said.
“There's no-one there who is an expert about mental health, it's just about somebody coming and enjoying free food, free drinks – they can stay for five minutes or two hours, it’s up to them.”
Andy started running the barbecues three months ago, with 23 men rocking up for the first event.
“I just want to do it because it's so hard to understand how so many people are dying from this,” Andy said.
“The second biggest killer of men is suicide. On average, eight people die a day from suicide in Australia, six men and two women.”
Andy knows firsthand it can be tough for men to open up about mental health.
“I had a conversation with someone a couple weeks ago. I was having a bad week and they asked me how I was. And I just said, no I'm fine, I've just got a bit going on,” he said.
“She then alerted me that I was just doing exactly what I'm trying to encourage people not to do. That's how easy it is just to go into your shell and not come out.
“It just shows how important it is for us to keep asking people if they are okay.”
The next Mr Perfect barbecue is on this Sunday, October 20 at Apex Park from 10.30am to 12.30pm.
The format is simple, formal and completely inclusive, offering a chance to get out of the house and into the sun to socialise with a supportive community.
Friends, family and pets are welcome.
For more information contact Andy on 0467 094 061.
If you or someone you know needs help now, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. If it becomes a crisis go immediately to the nearest hospital or phone 000.
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