Richard's Ramblings

Christmas humour

By Richard Horton

I may not enjoy everything about Christmas but I do enjoy the humour! I'm positive that you will at least laugh in the inside to some of these.

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most? "Rude Olph".

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.

What is the cow’s holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost.

What would you get if you ate the Christmas decorations? Tinselitis.

Why did Santa go to jail? He sleighed an elf.

I love when candy canes are in mint condition.

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

What do you call an elf that can sing? A wrapper.

What type of Christmas dessert shouldn’t you trust? Mince spies!

Santa was forced to attend a Christmas party because his presents was required.

The North Pole doesn't import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.

Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a bit.

Reindeer don't go to public school, they’re elf taught.

Santa Claus' favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.

What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a rest from delivering presents? Santa Pause!

The Turkey wasn't hungry at Christmas because he was already stuffed.

Richard

Shepparton, Victoria