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On April 27, 2020, my hero and inspiration, my grandmother Phyllis Therese Appo, passed from this life into glory. She celebrated her 93rd birthday only seven days prior. We believe she was the oldest Gooreng Gooreng Elder and is survived by her brother Lionel Appo, seven of her children and numerous grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
As I talk to Mum, Aunts and Uncles, I realize what an extraordinary leader and trailblazer Nan was. I always knew she was a special lady with unmatched qualities, but in the last 24 hours this is what I have come to know.
Nan may not have graduated school, yet she educated eight children while educating herself. The decision she and Pop made to provide their children with an education at a time when most Aboriginal children were denied that human right, was possible because of her unwavering determination to provide her children with every opportunity available to have the best life and a future filled with hope and promise.
This came at a cost.
She worked long hours in the field as a labourer alongside Pop to earn the money needed to pay for her children’s education. The result is three generations of high achievers who serve our communities and country — a professor, business owners, a vet, police officers, numerous university graduates, Australian Defence Force officers, teachers and educators, leaders within government and philanthropy, musicians, artists, state and national sportspeople, a lawyer, Aboriginal rights and Native Title activists, beauticians, tradesmen, a bank manager, a state government commissioner, influencers of national and international human rights, and social workers.
She may not have had an official career or profession but she dedicated her life to creating generous, kind, caring, successful, resilient, compassionate, humble, strong, loving, intelligent, happy children and grandchildren. Best HR manager ever!
She taught us how to honor and respect all those who come into our lives, even those who hurt us and come against us. She lived out forgiveness daily. She made sure she was present every moment you were with her, even when she was cooking, cleaning or caring for others. She was highly skilled at multitasking. She wove into each of us this golden thread — “always, always give your very best my darling. Even in the smallest most insignificant things, even when it hurts, even when there is no reward, even when you think others don’t deserve it and even when you think you've got nothing left to give”.
Nan was never rich but she was wealthy. You can only love extravagantly on others when you have a treasure chest that is overflowing. She did not measure wealth by earthly possessions and position. Her worth was deeply embedded in her Saviour and Lord, Jesus Christ. From this deep well, Nan wrapped love around every task as she served her husband and family.
Her crown wasn’t made of fine gold or priceless ornaments, it was her family. Each of us a precious unique jewel that she crafted and placed in her crown, not because she wanted people to notice her, but because she wanted the world to see the wonder of us.
Only in her death have I realised that it was always her design and plan that although she helped refine our unique beauty and qualities as individuals, the fullness of our wonder is only truly revealed when we are placed together. Alone we are a precious stone, but together, when placed by the master jeweler, we complement one another and shine brighter.
As a woman, she was never famous, never awarded medals of honour, no titles were bestowed upon her, she had no parades to acknowledge who she was, no plaques or statues erected to set her place in history and no-one wrote a book about her.
She never desired fame or even recognition. The honour, respect and devotion of her family to her was worth more than fame and fortune. Nan was a highly respected Elder and keeper of knowledge. Her pursuit of the truth and justice was inspirational. She gifted us all with our culture and tradition. Our identity as traditional owners is strong because she taught us to be proud of who we are, where we come from, to always stay connected to family and country, learn from and listen to Elders and never let anyone use our heritage to make us feel or think we are less, lower or not good enough.
“Our heritage makes us special and significant, it makes you important.”
You never saw her on the cover of Vogue magazine but, wow, she was a stunning woman! No fancy skin products or Gucci required to make this lady shine. Flawless skin, silky soft hands, nails that Cardi B would die for, shiny hair and the most beautiful eyes when she smiled.
Her children all recall her unmatched beauty even when she wore a patched-up tired dress and shoes with holes in the soles as she walked to town for groceries. She held her head high, knowing her worth and value. Her heart was where her beauty radiated from.
My name is Katrina Therese Mohamed.I am a proud descendant of Percival James and Phyllis Therese Appo.May I never cease striving to be the woman Nan was.May their legacy live on through me for all generations to come.