This bizarre tale has to be told.
It’s not my own story but that of my girlfriend and her strange housemates.
It all started out so great, moving into a house in Coburg together with a fellow nurse from the hospital and getting another roommate to help keep the bills down.
Then buying animals seemed to be in vogue and the house became a menagerie all of a sudden.
My girlfriend set the trend by bringing a cat and then getting a dog, and quickly obtaining the permission of the landlord for both of them — no easy feat of course.
Meanwhile one of her housemates bought a Maine Coon cat and kitten while the other picked up a great dane-labrador cross rescue puppy on a whim.
The cross-breed dog was not toilet trained but was left in the house alone while the owner wasn’t there and proceeded to pee all over the house and on my girlfriend’s couch twice, followed by one of the cats excreting on the couch.
But the fun didn’t stop there ...
Before all the animals arrived my girlfriend’s housemates decided to transform the garden and purchased a whole bunch of plants. All good, no harm done, whatever floats your boat.
Next minute they asked my girlfriend for $200 to share in the garden expenses because she agreed to have someone do some garden tidying up when they moved in.
I’m not sure digging up and re-planting equates to someone mowing the lawn or tidying up a garden bed.
The request is like someone purchasing a television in a shared house and then out of nowhere asking everyone to chip in because they use it some of the time.
My girlfriend is not into conflict — who is? — and didn’t want to rock the boat too much but thankfully it wasn’t followed up after the initial request.
The housemates were gearing up to leave the house around December and left a note for my girlfriend one night asking her to replace all the lightbulbs in the house because they were taking the lightbulbs with them. This a 100 per cent true story.
When I was told this I couldn’t believe it.
Apparently the lightbulbs are energy efficient and were purchased by them when they moved in.
Who on earth takes lightbulbs with them when they leave a shared house?
I wonder if they decanted the soap from all the containers as well for the journey?
Remember all the expensive plants they planted? Yep, they came back to dig up the garden and move it to the next house, along with the landlord’s lemon tree.
Finally the time came when they moved, and of course some of my girlfriend’s belongings went missing.
The new housemates have since moved in, but despite reading in the ad there is a cat in the house, one of them is uncertain about living in a house with a cat.
You are never short of drama when it comes to sharing a house, it seems.
Declan Martin is a News journalist.